eternal dorkness

sheef makers untie

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 06:32:27 -0500

please believe that the last thing i ever wanted was to be the one to tell you this, but here it goes:

we were all mistakes. in the purest sense of the word.

–noun 1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc. 2. a misunderstanding or misconception.
whether your parents “decided” to have you or not, we are all mistakes, because there is still poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, misunderstanding and misconception when it comes to love.
p.s.
miss conception would be a sweet sandra bullock movie about a female fbi agent who tries to get pregnant as many times as possible to fight terrorism.

he sAID, she spREAD

Thu, 23 Dec 2010 04:14:29 -0500

yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. ha. this time of year always brings out the weird desperation in peoples. like, “oh my god, i could die tomorrow, it almost 2011 and i’m nearly thirty!” “let’s prove our youthfulness by be being retarded!” but you know what? no. fuck all that noise. if you can’t be with the one you love, DON’T love the one you are with. that mentality only breeds contempt and stupidity. literally. because stupid people don’t use condoms. it’s a fact. otherwise, there wouldn’t be a market for will smith movies. and not because he’s black. because legend by bob marley is a fucking compilation, not an album, and saying yer favorite record is a collection is like saying yer favorite movie is a VHS tape of yer favorite commercials from the 80’s. which actually sounds pretty cool….

so, uh….

i guess my moral tonight is: more mix tapes/less cgi fake ass “zombies”….. and also, if you like will smith, consider a vasectomy. or call our hotline and a trained specialist will come in the night to “help” you. don’t worry:) it’s cheaper for you and better for us and the planet you yuppie scum sucking seersucker mother fucker. oops, merry christmas! love you! here’s to jesus. some guy ten thousand times smarter than us was killed so we could misinterpret and poorly share, promote and market his ideas.

together we sashay thru variations of hell

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 11:25:10 -0500

idea for potential after life number 9,764.

an eternity of being in a warm bed and

knowing you only have five minutes till the alarm goes off

and yer day will most likely be hell.

kept on the earth by the gravity of the situation

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 22:41:00 -0500

ever think if we weren’t so fucking serious, maybe we’d float more? there are proven causal ties between projected psychic and emotional energies and their effect on natural phenomenon. so maybe humanities eons of depression, anxiety and anger are literally keeping us down. and before that the dinosaurs were just floating around. then one of them got bummed and fell to earth, which made them asplode of course. and when the other dinos saw their sploded brother it made them sad and they fell and sploded. and so forth. here’s a picture of a sad prehistoric sea beast as he asplodes.

and that’s the real reason dinosaurs went extinct timmy.

so this is roughly the style i’m going for with the...

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 14:35:00 -0500

so this is roughly the style i’m going for with the “comic strip”. note the third grade art stylings. don’t scoff at me. it took me years to stay at the same level of unartistic ability. and artistic unability. autistic twistability?

lash me down, and take me out

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 06:59:04 -0500

well, lessee.

i guess mostly this an experiment to see if there is any interest in a couple different projects i have been

mulling over.

and also a place to spew some of my *occasional* mind waste. i have trouble with filters. so i guess if you end up reading this filth eventually, um, don’t read it if it will have offended you. yeah. i’m kinda gonna write whatever, and share the things i think the world needs to see. you may not agree with this. that is yer prerogative. because i have two cell phones. that makes me twice as productive. twice as fast, as financial. my speed is exponential. i hear music in algorithms. i see the ocean in algae rhythm. come dance in der water. come dance under water under come. in a coma. in your wet ass coma.